Total Random Sitcom!
by The Lightning Knight
Summary: Seven original characters and some new ones appear in this humoress story about the TDI cast and some new guys moving into a house, sharing one bathroom, and dealing with a laugh-track! Oh, and an intern more annoying than Chris.
1. Pilot, Part One, Meet the Roomates

OK, I have enough characters. Also, I changed my OC's age to 15, not like it matters. And, because I had three flirty girls submitted, so I'm gonna make them a little "group". Now, it is time to start the first chapter:

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Chris McClean is standing in front of a suburban house.

CHRIS: Welcome, to Total, Random, SITCOM! The roommates will have to live with eachother under ONE roof! We will be creating sitcom-like challenges, where if you win, you get immunity.

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(Chris is now in the garage)

CHRIS: And, if you want to share your inner-most-feelings with the whole world, then come here, to the confession-garage-place-thing!

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(He is now walking around in the kitchen, where Chef Hatchet is cooking something)

CHRIS: While we still have Chef, I will also have a new intern helping me. He will live with the roommates, and give them their challenges, which I will E-Mail to him. Please welcome.... Lightning!

A boy with yellow hair and fiery clothes appears out of nowhere.

LIGHTNING: Hey, everyone! I'm here because he promised me free food. WHERE IS THAT PROMISE?!

CHRIS: Don't worry, Lightning. You'll get to eat soon.

LIGHTNING: Ok!

CHRIS: For now, let's go meet our campers!

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(Out on the parking lot)

CHRIS: Some of your favorite campers will return, and some will not. We will also have plenty of new campers.

LIGHTNING: That were submitted to other stor-

CHRIS: No breaking the fourth wall!

An old pick-up truck drives into the drive-way, and Ezekiel steps out.

LIGHTNING: I remember you! You totally messed up on TDI! "Guys are better at sports than girls are!"

EZEKIEL: Shuttup, Eh! I didn't know any better.

LIGHTNING: And I liked it when you hit on Bridgette. Zeke, you playa!

Ezekiel punches Lightning and knocks him out. Another car drives up, and Harold gets out.

HAROLD: Hey, Chris. Hey, Zeke. Who's the guy on the ground?

CHRIS: My new intern, Lightning!

HAROLD: Oh.... He's gonna die for sure.

LIGHTNING: (Gets up) Harold! Do you have your ant farm.

HAROLD: Yes.

LIGHTNING: Can you teach them tricks? I have an ant farm, and I taught them how to do the hokey-pokey!

Some one that they didn't recognize got out of the next car, a glossy convertable. She was slim and had wavy brown hair.

CHRIS: Hey, Teresa!

TERESA: Sup, Chris? (High-Fives him)

Two other people they didn't recognize pulled up. An athletic-looking girl walked out. In the car behind her, a muscular guy with shaggy hair appeared.

CHRIS: Fay, Jamie! What's up.

JAMIE: (High-Fiving Chris) Hey, dude! (Sees an evil smile on Fay's face) What is it?

FAY: Oh, nothing.

Next, Noah came out, followed by Lindsay.

NOAH: Great, now I have to spend time on a dumb sitcom. And SHE'S back?! (Points to Lindsay)

LINDSAY: Hi, Noah!

NOAH: If you don't mind, I'd like to be a back-ground character in this sitcom. (Gets out a book and starts reading it)

LIGHTNING: Ooooh! Noah's magical! He can pull books outta no where!

A portal from the ground opened up, and a blast of energy appeared. Everyone looked scared, wondering what would happen.

Then, a green elephant thing with his eyes crossed appeared.

CHRIS: Oh, don't worry, that's just Fred.

FRED: Hi, mister! My name is Fred Fredburger, and I, I um, I know where babies come from!

LINDSAY: You do? I always asked my parents, but they never told me, so I gave up when I was five.

FRED: Um, my mommy told me that babies grew on baby trees! Yes!

LIGHTNING: That means that my parents lied to me! They told me that babies came from #%#%#^#$&^^$&%^(*&%$^!^!^%&*%$*%$(^&)%!^%%^56%$&$%^&%$&%##^451#$!%^!!!!

Everyone stared at Lightning in disbelief at his detailed description. Finally, Noah spoke up.

NOAH: Where'd they get the idea that babies came from Ohio?

LIGHTNING: I dunno. Maybe the baby trees are in Ohio.

FRED: Yes!

DJ came up, along with his Bunny.

DJ: Good news, guys! I found out about my old Bunny. But later, it turned out that it was the SAME Bunny! He escaped the snake and eagle, and then Duncan found him!

A girl with sandy blonde hair and a recycling shirt carrying a rat-terrier approached DJ.

CHRIS: Hey, Lauren!

LAUREN: DJ! You brought Bunny! He's so cute! (Pets bunny) And don't worry about Casey. She wouldn't hurt a fly.

NOAH: I've always questioned that phrase. I mean, a giant shark won't hurt a fly, but it'll hurt a human.

LAUREN: Only on accident! They think that they're seals.

NOAH: What-EVER!

LIGHTNING: Why do you talk like a valley-girl?

NOAH: I do NOT, like, talk like a valley girl! (Scoffs in a girly fasion)

Someone falls from the sky. She gets up, revealing herself to be Izzy.

IZZY: Hi! I'm back!

LIGHTNING: ZOMG IZZY! (Hearts appear in his eyes) I am your hugest fan.

OWEN: (Coming up behind him) Watch it, Pal, she's taken!

LIGHTNING: I thought Izzy didn't like you. She barfed when you kissed her hand.

IZZY: No, I just wasn't ready for it.

LIGHTNING: But you made out with him.

IZZY: That's different! My lips were ready! MY HAND IS NOT READY FOR KISSING!!!!

LIGHTNING: Owen, did you bring Mr. Coconut?

OWEN: Sure did! (Holds up Mr. Coconut, who has a taped crack where Chef cut him)

CHRIS: Um, Owen, that thing creeps me out. We're gonna have to-

LIGHTNING: SHUTTUP! I like Mr. Coconut!

CHRIS: (Looking scared) O....K.....

A tanned-skinned girl drives up.

CHRIS: Hey, Nevaeh!

NEVAEH: Hey, Chris! I'm ready for the adventure!

NOAH: Oh, yeah. Boring- over-used plot-lines and corny puns. It's such an adventure.

Over time, more people showed up. Jesse, a party girl, arrived, reminding everyone of Geoff. A boy with a heavy backpack named 'Derek' showed up with a black-and-white rat on his shoulders.

LAUREN: Aw, that's an adorable little rat! What's his name?

DEREK: (Quietly, looking at his feet) LK.

LIGHTNING: What's that stand for?

DEREK: .... I honestly don't know.

A boy in a flannel shirt showed up.

CHRIS: Hey, Kenny!

KENNY: 'Sup, Chris?

A really tall girl showed up, looking uninterested.

CHRIS: Hey, Nikki!

NIKKI: THIS is all that's here? Talk about a band of idiots.

NOAH: Tell me about it.

NIKKI: Hey, is that Shakespeare?

NOAH: Yeah, why?

NIKKI: Oh, just wondering.

Nikki sits next to Noah, as two other people drive in. They were named Kim, who looked a bit crazy, and Chance. A bit later, three girls showed up in one car. There was a tan one with freckles, a pale one, and one with dark brown hair.

CHRIS: Lillie, Haley, and Emma! How's it going?

LILLIE: Great, Chris!

HALEY: (Waves at Chance) Hey, cutie.

CHANCE: Hi.

The three girls giggle, as a guy who looked like he was in a gang dropped in.

CHRIS: Terr! Sup, man?

TERRY: Cut the act, I know how you treat your contestants.

FRED: Yes!

Emma: (To Lillie) He's sorta cute.

Lille: I know! That trunk is HOT!

Emma: No, not Fred! I meant Terry.

Lillie: Oh.... He's alright.

Some others soon arrived. Rose, an African-American goth, Cassey, a nice girl who seemed to be harboring a secret, Carrie, who quickly bonded with Lauren and DJ, Crystal, seamanly a bad girl, Effie, a friend of Duncan and Gwen, and Angie, who actually seemed normal.

ANGIE: What's up, guys?

FRED: Um, do you like nachos?

ANGIE: I .... Guess?

FRED: Ooh! I like, I like nachos, too! I also like frozen yogurt! Wanna be friends?

ANGIE: Ok, sure.

FRED: Yes!

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(Confession-Garage-Place-Thing)

-FRED: My mommy was right! I'm already making friends. Hey, Hey! Wanna-wanna hear me, Um, spell my name?

-NOAH: Great, I'm stuck with the loser bunch again. The only person with sense here is that Nikki girl, and she's likely to hate me soon.

-FRED: Ok, yes.

-LAUREN: What's with that Derek kid? I mean, he won't look you in the eye or any thing!

-FRED: Um. F-R-E-D

-LILLIE: Is it me, or is Harold kinda cute? Or Chris? Or Chance? Or.... pretty much every guy here!

-FRED: F-R-E-D

-EZEKIEL: I doon't like that Lightning guy, Eh. I'm trying to foorget what I said befoore! He's not making it easy.

-LIGHTNING: Tee-Hee..... I like annoying Zeke. And Izzy is SO hot! Just... don't tell Owen that I said that.

-FRED: B-U-R....Geeeeeee....E....R! Fred Fredburger! Yes!

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CHRIS: The difference between this series and the last one is that here, the AUDIENCE gets to vote you off! There will be a poll on The Lightning Knight's account with the choices on who should be, 'written out' of the show. The last original character in the series shall win!

NOAH: Yay, audience votes. Say good-bye, Owen.

OWEN: Good-bye, Owen!

FRED: Um, excuse me, Chris? Um, yes, where are the nachos?

CHRIS: In each episode, you will have different roles, which will put you on different teams. Today's episode is the pilot, where no one gets written off. Your challenge is to learn to live with each other. Let the sitcom.... Begin!

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Theme-song (Showing the character names and clips):

This is the story,

Of a stupid sitcom,

A spinoff of a reality show,

It involves a host, a chef, and an intern,

(LIGHTNING): Have you ever eaten yellow snow?

This is the story,

Of some former campers,

As well as some new ones added on,

And ever since they left TDI,

They've been all alone.

And when this intern,

Pitched a TV show,

Chris knew that it was much more than a hunch,

To bring the characters together as a family,

And that is how they all became the Loser Bunch!

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Okay, I'll put up with official, "First Episode" next.


	2. Pilot, Part Two, A Trip to the Pool

(A/N: Yeah, the 'Pilot' is pretty much just getting used to the characters and their interactions. But it's still funny!)

You see the living room, where Chace and Kenny are watching TV, laughing hysterically. In the kitchen, Chef is cooking something, but it catches on fire. The laugh track is heard.

TERESA: (At the kitchen table) .... So then, I almost hit him with the car, but luckily he got out of the way in time.

JAMIE: Are you serious?! (Laughs)

FRED: One time, one time, I, um, served in jury duty, and, I got to, I got to fill out paper-work. Yes! (Laugh Track) I'm funny!

DJ is talking to Lauren and Carrie.

DJ: Bunny and LK sem like good friends.

LAUREN: Now if only Derek were as social as his rat.

DJ: Actually, he's made friends with Noah.

CARRIE: Huh, he seemed too nice to be that jerk's friend.

LAUREN: Seriously, Noah is a jerk!

DJ: They play the same online game.

In the guys' room....

NOAH: So, you're seriously LK the Great?

DEREK: I'll get out my laptop and show you. But you're character's okay, too. (Laugh Track) Um, when did I become funny? (Laugh track increases, and Derek hides under his bed)

NOAH: Behold, the great LK. (Laugh Track again)

TERRY: Will you two shut up about that stupid game.

DEREK: (Getting up) Sorry.

NOAH: Wow, you're scared of that moron? He probably feels bad that he dosen't understand the concept of a video game.

TERRY: What?!

DEREK: Noah, I think that you just got us killed. (Laugh Track, and he hides under the bed again)

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(Confession-Garage-Thing)

-TERRY: Derek and Noah are gonna DIE!

-DEREK: Me and Noah are gonna DIE!

-FRED: (Singing) Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger....

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Fighting noises are heard in the living room.

DJ: What's that?

LAUREN: It's probably somebody bullying Derek. The runt is always picked on.

CASSIE: Or Noah's getting a good thrashing.

Owen, Izzy, and Lightning are in the closet, planning something.

LIGHTNING: .... And then, Izzy, go outside and chase the pizza man away until the 30 minutes is up. That way, we'll have ten thousand boxes of pizza for FREE!

OWEN: I like that plan!

IZZY: I like you!

Izzy and Owen make-out. Laugh-track.

LIGHTNING: (Gets out a video camera) This is GOLD! (Gets an E-Mail from Chris on his phone) Right away, boss!

Lightning comes out of the closet, and makes an announcement.

LIGHTNING: Attention, Roommates! Today, we will all go to the local pool!

EZIKIEL: But I thought that we were supposed to get to know each other, Eh.

JESSE: Shuttup, Zeke! We're going to a pool party! Whoo-Hoo!

LIGHTNING: Now, everyone, GET IN THE FAMILY VAN!

Everyone rushes out except for Lauren and Nikki. Noah and Derek come downstairs, unscathed. However, Derek has no pack-pack.

LAUREN: Guys? You're not dead?

NOAH: Nah, I threw Derek's pack at him. That thing is heavier than it looks.

LAUREN: Everything's heavy to you, Noah.

NOAH: I'll pretend that I didn't hear that.

NIKKI: So, Noah, where's Terry.

Terry comes down with a black eyes, and tosses Derek his book bag. Derek falls down once he catches it, triggering the laugh track.

NOAH: Learned your lesson, Terrence?

TERRY: Don't call me that!

He chases Noah, who is screaming like a girl, out the door.

At the pool....

Fred Fredburger is in the baby pool blowing bubbles, Lillie, Haley, Emma, and Lindsay are getting tans, Derek is in the hot tub alone, and every one else is playing or swimming in the big pool.

HAROLD: Zeke, wanna join our volley-ball game? We need one more to make the teams even.

EZIKIEL: Sure, eh.

LILLIE: Hey, girls, have you ever noticed how cute he is?

EMMA: Who? Do you still like Fred?

LILLIE: Yes. But that's not the point. I'm talking about Derek.

LINDSAY: Yeah.... I can't really talk about guys. I'm sorta dating Timmy.

EMMA: Nah. He looks nerdy.

HALEY: Actually, when you mention it.... He is sorta cute. Not that hot, but still.

LILLIE: He seems sort of shy. (Giggles) This'll be fun!

EMMA: Yeah.... No thanks. I'm staying here.

The two girls get on each side of Derek in the hot tub, too close for his comfort.

LILLIE: Hey, Derek.

DEREK: Um, hi?

LILLIE: That rat you had was adorable.

DEREK: So I've been told.

LILLIE: Are we adorable.

DEREK: I dunno. I guess?

HALEY: Hey, you don't look so bad either. In fact, (inches closer) you're kind of cute, too.

(Haley and Lillie giggle while Derek wishes that he was somewhere else)

DEREK: I got to go now. (Starts to get up, but Lillie pulls him back down, in a position close to her and holding her hand)

HALEY: Why are you in such a hurry?

Meanwhile, Harold, DJ, and Ezikiel are looking at the hot tub from the pool.

DJ: Wow, Derek's a chick-magnet.

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(Confession-Garage-Thing)

-LILLIE: Okay, it's not like we like him more than any other guys, but come on! His reaction to us flirting with him was so cute!

-HALEY: Ditto. And funny.

-DEREK: I don't like it when girls do that. Don't get me wrong, I like girls, but not flirty ones like those two.

-EMMA: Those two are crazy. I only flirt with guys that are hot.

-DJ: Derek is so lucky!

-LK: (In rat language) derek getz all nervus arund gurlz. he needz sumwun hoo wel taik it slow. i no, hez a weerd guy. and dat weerd elifant keapz askin me fo' nachoz.

-FRED: Yes!

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Fay is swimming against Terry in a race, while Noah is reading a book. Nikki approaches him, and sits next to him.

NIKKI: Look at these morons!

NOAH: Yeah, what I've been thinking my whole life.

NIKKI: I'm guessing I'm gonna be voted off early for, "acting like a jerk".

NOAH: Ditto.

Owen cannonballs into the pool, sending everyone in the pool into space, and splashing everyone outside the pool.

FRED: (Takes his head out of the water for a moment) Yes! (Starts blowing bubbles again)

TERESA: (In space) I think we might just die here.

HAROLD: Farewell, creul world.

EZEKIEL: Quit being so dramatic, eh.

HAROLD: Fine! GOSH!

They then all fall screaming right back into the pool.

TERRY: Way to go, Owen. I almost won!

FAY: Dream on!

IZZY: That was awesome, Owen! Now let me try! (Dives into the water.)

NOAH: (Drying off) That was annoying.

NIKKI: Tell me about it.

NOAH: Hey! Where's my book?!

KIM: (Holds Noah's book high in the air) You got to reach for it!

NOAH: Give that back! (Keeps jumping up to get his book)

NIKKI: (Sighs, and grabs the book right out of Kim's hands.) Here. (Gives it to Noah)

KIM: DANGIT! (Runs away.)

NOAH: Um.... Thanks.

NIKKI: No problem.

DEREK: (Approaches Owen) Hey, Owen. Thanks for that splash.

OWEN: Why?

DEREK: We all ran out. Basically, you saved me from being cornered by two crazy girls.

LAUREN: You weren't enjoying that?

TERESA: Most guys I know would say-

EVERY GUY AT THE POOL (Except for Derek): LUCKY!

DEREK: I don't like awkward situations. (Walks away)

LAUREN: Well, now we know ONE thing about him!

(Stay tuned for more, "bonding"!)


	3. Pilot, Part Three, Christmas Caroling

DISCLAIMER - I do not own TDI, TDA, Fred Fredburger, the Animaniacs, Walker the Texas Ranger, or any of the other stuff that I don't own. DON'T SUE ME!

Later, at the house....

FRED: (Watching TV) When the eyes of the ranger are upon you, I like nachoes! Yes!

NIKKI: Shut UP! (Turns the TV off)

FRED: Oooh, I like this show! It represents the darkness in the human soul that can never be filled.

NIKKI: Fred, you're actually having a.... smart moment?

(Long silence)

FRED: Nachoes!

NOAH: (Looks up from his book) It's gone.

NAVAEH: (Walks in, covered in ashes) Wow, there's a burn pile out there!

IZZY & KIM: Burn Pile?! (Run outside)

NOAH: And how did you manage to fall into it, exactly?

NAVAEH: Well, I got bored, so I-

FRED: Oooh! When, When, Um, I get bored, um, I eat. Yes!

LIGHTNING: I do that, too! I also eat when I'm happy, sad, angry....

Two Hours Later....

LIGHTNING: ....nervous, or about to watch my favorite TV show.

NAVAEH: What's your favorite show?

LIGHTNING: It changes at random times.

FRED: Oooh, I like that show, too! Yes!

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(Confession-Garage-Thing)

-LIGHTNING: Fred knows what's important in life.

-ANGIE: Is it me, or is that Fredburger guy a bit strange?

-IZZY and KIM: Fire!

-BUNNY: (In bunny language) mi frind lk'z owner izent makin frindz acsept dat jerk hoo sad I waz a dum rabet

-FRED: NACHOES!

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FRED: Hey, lets, let's, um, sing a song!

LIGHTNING: Great idea! (To the tune of Yankee Doodle) Ezikiel's a sexist pig, and a social moron! He couldn't master teen-speak, even to save a- (Gets punched by Ezikiel again)

EZIKIEL: Let it go, eh!

HAROLD: Do not worry, Zeke. I have someone who can get him off your back. (Snaps fingers, and the Animaniacs appear)

YAKKO and WAKKO: We're the Warner Brothers!

DOT: And Warner Sister!

LIGHTNING: ZOMG! I love you guys! The 90's we're the best era for cartoons.

HAROLD: Tell me about it.

KASSEY: Hey, Christmas is in a few days.

ROSE: Eh, who cares?

ANGIE: I do! Everyone, get together! I wanna take a picture!

LIGHTNING: We can wait for that! Now, we're gonna go caroling.

The roommates, Lightning, Chef, and the Warners meet up with Chris at the street corner. All the musicians were playing, and the rest were singing.

You are watching an old and cheesy TV special. Then, you hear a knock on your door. When you open it, there are a number of strange-looking teenagers, Chris McLean (a celebrity you know), an old buff guy, and three who-knows-what's.

_We wish you a merry Christmas,_

_We wish you a merry Christmas,_

_We wish you a merry Christmas, _

_Now give us some cash! _

_Yes! _

The 'yes' had come from a strange elephant thing that popped up right in front of your door, which you slam.

'Stupid carolers.' you think. 'Although there was that hot one....'

(They are now walking to the next house)

FAY: Nice guitar-playing, Jamie.

JAMIE: Thanks. (Tries to take his hand off of his guitar, but it is glued) HEY!

FAY: (Laughs) Got you! (Runs)

KENNY: (To no one in particular) What's their issue? (Points to Lillie, Emma, and Haily, who wave and giggle) they won't leave me alone.

DEREK: Tell me about it.

NOAH: I don't know what you bozo's are thinking. If a girl started flirting with me, I'd-

LILLE: (Approaches him with Hailey and Emma) You'd what?

NOAH: Oh, I'd just- um, uh....

TERESA: Wow, mr. "Know-it-All" is tong-tied.

LAUREN: I gotta watch this.

LILLIE: Smart guys are hot. (Bats her eyes at Noah)

EMMA: Lillie, to you, all guys are hot.

TERESA: On second thought.. BLECH!

CHRIS: So, Lightning, do you think that the viewers know the campers well enough?

LIGHTNING: Well, Chris, there's some that weren't very well developed. But we have, like, a hundred of them. What are you gonna do?"

CHRIS: After we eliminate some people, there will be less to keep up with.

LIGHTNING: Oh, yeah....

NOAH: (With Haily and Lillie grabbing onto each arm) ...Despite popular belief, I don't like gu-

NIKKI: (Approaches Noah) Ew, the boy-crazy flirts? I thought you were above that.

NOAH: No guy is.

______________________________________________________________________________

(Confession-Garage-Thing)

-LAUREN: So, Kenny and Derek relate. Great, now I have both of them to figure out.

-NIKKI: Do I like Noah?! No! No, not at all! It's just that I hate boy-crazy flirts like that. I could just $#%^$%&&(^&^%$^#$%^#$!% them, and then #$%$%&%^*%$&^$^ their little #$^$%&%#&^!^%#$^$%&$$^! Yeah.... Okay.

-LILLIE: Noah's boring.

-ROSE: I'm not getting much air-time, am I?

-FRED: And then, I said, "Yes!"

-YOU: Why the $#^%$^ did you want me in here? Just because I'm reading a fanfiction, I gotta be in here?!

-WAKKO (With YAKKO and DOT): *Throws a pie at the screen*

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CHRIS: (In the drive-way) So, there is tension building up between Nikki and... those other three.

EMMA, LILLIE and HAILEY: (Only heard) Hey!

CHRIS: Also, Lauren is trying to figure out Derek and Kenny, Lightning keeps torturing Ezikiel, and Fred Fredburger is.... Fred Fredburger! (A faint, "Yes!", is heard)

But, what will the first challenge be? Who will YOU, the audience, vote off first? And what will the cheesy, over-used plot be? Find out next time, on,

Total....

Random....

SITCOM!


End file.
